Home' Nonahood News : NONA 050116 Contents TEACHING GIRLS HOW
TO BE THE BEST VERSIONS
Weekly Summer Camp
In Lake Nona for Grades 6-9
Girls Defying Gravity 321-430-DEFY
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VISIT WWW.NONAHOODNEWS.COM FOR UPDATED
EVENTS AND INFORMATION.
Sundays at 4 p.m.
Lakehouse in Laureate Park
MARKET MONDAY AT LAKE NONA YMCA
Mondays from 4:30-8 p.m.
Lake Nona YMCA | 9055 Northlake Parkway
LAKE NONA NIGHTS: LIVE + LOCAL
Live music, food trucks, and a farmer’s market
Thursdays from 6 - 8 p.m.
Laureate Park Village Center | 8601 Tavistocks Lake Boule-
YOGA NONA SPONSORED BY LAKE NONA LIFE PROJECT
Saturdays at 10 a.m.
Crescent Park in Laureate Park | 8374 Upper Perse Circle
BACK TO NATURE FARMER’S MARKET
Saturdays from 9 a.m.-1 p.m.
Valencia College | 12350 Narcoossee Boulevard
Save the Date — June:
1 May Day
3 National Teacher Day
5 Cinco de Mayo
7 Kentucky Derby
7 1st Annual Lake Nona Area Home & Garden Show
at Courtyard Marriott Lake Nona
8 Mother’s Day
13-14 Lake Nona Middle School’s Lion King Jr.
performance at 7 p.m.
14 2016 Lake Nona PRIDE Golf Classic at North Shore Golf Club
14 Lake Nona High School Prom
14 Back to Nature Animal-versary Celebration
16 Lake Nona High School Senior Awards Ceremony
21 Armed Forces Day
22 Enzian Film Series: Finding Nemo at
Nemours Children’s Hospital Theater
28 National Burger Day
30 Memorial Day Ceremony at the Veteran’s Memorial Park at 2 p.m.
2 Eagle Creek Elementary Artistocats performance at 6 p.m .
3 Lake Nona High School Class of 2016 Graduation Ceremony
4 Moss Park Elem’s Gifted Class’s Pet-awloosa Event
5 Lake Nona Concert Series at Crescent Park
The Scallion Police Blotter
Civil Disturbance 11:36 a.m. – A Lake Nona man called police when an angry
mob descended on his home. For the second consecutive year, he posted a
fake news story on his neighborhood’s Facebook page that some of his neigh-
bors believed. His current whereabouts are unknown, but he is rumored to be
seeking the assistance of federal witness protection.
Theft 3:46 p.m. – Police are investigating the brazen theft of plumbing fixtures
from a local police precinct. Robbers posing as plumbing contractors said they
were hired to replace the toilets but instead removed approximately 35 fix-
tures and just left the scene. A spokesman from the police department issued
a statement saying the case is still open but admit they have nothing to go on.
Missing Person 9:29 p.m. – Orlando Police officers responded to a missing
persons call at a Lake Nona residence. A woman said her husband had been
missing for several hours. Police later located the man, who was reported to
have been hanging out with the Nona Brew Crew. No charges were filed. Offic-
ers said he faced far worse punishment when he returned home
State transportation officials were left red-faced
when an internal audit revealed that one of their
construction projects was completed on time. A rou-
tine annual audit revealed that a small construction
project was actually completed a few days ahead of
schedule. Officials were further troubled by the fact
that the project was also completed below budget.
In an interview, Transportation Department spokes-
person Dee Lay said, “We are aware of the auditor’s
findings and are conducting our own internal inves-
tigation to determine exactly what went wrong. Our
preliminary findings show that the project was man-
aged by a new employee, not well versed in the ways
of state projects.” Ms. Lay declined to identify the em-
ployee by name, but employees who spoke off the re-
cord stated that the employee most recently worked
in the private sector before joining the state office.
When pressed on the issue, Ms. Lay stated,
“There’s an enormous learning curve for those who
join us from corporate America. There, projects that
are completed on time and under budget are encour-
aged and even celebrated. I can assure you that this
employee is receiving remedial training to ensure it
doesn’t happen again. There’s just no place for this
kind of competence in our organization.”
Disclaimer: The Scallion and Scallion Police Blotter are vain attempts at humor and are complete fiction,
satire, or rubbish if you prefer. Any resemblance to any person or state transportation employee either living
or dead is completely coincidental.
DOT Completes Project on Time
NORM DE PLUME
NORM DE PLUME
30 MAY 2016
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